If you are in the toddler stage of motherhood, this topic may feel impossible. Self-control does not come naturally to kids.
You know…They want what the want and they want it now. And if they don’t get it they may start with the tears. Some kids go straight to the screaming and tantrums. It’s all that their little minds understand.
But praise the Lord that He has placed us here to teach them.
Self-control is so important to teach your kids. The earlier the better. And I promise, no matter how you may feel currently, it is not impossible.
Before we jump into the how of teaching your kids self-control let’s talk about the why. Because if you have a solid “why this is important” it will help you so much during those rough days of testing and overwhelm.
Why teach your kids how to have self-control?
God tells His followers to use self-control. It is one of the fruits of the Spirit that He gives to us. And that includes you kids.
Proverbs 25:28 tells us that “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.”
That kind of describes your child when he or she is having a tantrum, doesn’t it?
But Proverbs 16:32 tells us, “Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.”
That is who I want my kids to be. Don’t you? I want them to know how to be slow to anger and rule over their spirits. That makes them better than champions!
So how do you actually teach your kids self-control?
“But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.” (1 Cor. 9:27)
I love God’s Word because it literally has an answer to everything we need!
As the parent we need to be the example first and foremost. We cannot preach to our kids over and over about using self-control and then not model it ourselves.
And I will say this is so hard, at least for me. It’s so hard to be slow to anger and control of my tongue when I have little ones at my feet all day long. But that brings the beautiful example of modeling asking forgiveness.
So work on yourself while, or before, you work on your kids.
This may look like stepping away from a situation before you can disciple your kids. Step away, pray, control your own spirit, and then go back in to teach your child.
And this is when you teach them how to discipline their bodies and spirits. This is when you show them how to keep themselves under control like the verse above says.
This will look different in every situation. But a few examples could look like teaching little ones how to breath and say a quick prayer before they decide to scream or showing older children how to talk to their sibling and make peace before choosing to hit or destroy a block tower.
Depending on the age of your child this may take a lot, and I mean a lot, or repetition. Be patience. Lean on the Lord. Stay in His Word. And pray a lot. You cannot mother alone.
With the Lord, teaching your kids self-control is very possible.
I promise He will bless you and them with this fruit of His Spirit. Just trust the daily process and stay strong in Him.
